March 2010
1 post
“doesn’t understand how the 2010 Census is over-budget. Aren’t these...”
January 2010
7 posts
“wants to know: if the fetus whose life you save turns out to be gay, will you...”
Some changes:
I’ve enabled guest posting so if you’ve got a particularly funny or poignant Facebook status, feel free to share!
We just ask that (unless of course it’s from a celebrity page) you block identifying names in photo submissions.
Thanks for reading!
“Fact: I can’t take a grown man in Ugg boots with their pants tucked in...”
“But soon for a n*gga it be on, mu’f*cka ‘Cause all the bullshit, it made me...”
– The whitest suburbanite I went to school with.
“Excuse me bathroom attendant. Stop talking to me about gettin’ some New...”
“note: drunk girls annoy the fuck out of me… No matter how sweet the spoils...”
on TUMBLR | Five different types of Facebook...
newkidthehavoc:
The cool Facebook status
Now becoming more and more popular , the ‘cool’ Facebook status update is one which includes any number of symbols or special characters which you can find by pressing secret key combinations on your number pad or keyboard. When people see these Facebook statuses they think ‘wow … cool … how can I do that?’ and then they forget all about it and go back...
December 2009
35 posts
“there’s a fat guy in a pastry shop with a $20 bill, and he’s ready...”
“is stuck in a blizzard and the only way to get out is alcohol.”
“is spent like singles at a strip club.”
“says I went to see the New Moon movie, and when Bella said “You can’t hurt each...”
“why do people constantly have to say they are “doing big thangs”? I...”
“is happy that she saw the window that opened when the last door closed.”
“was going to rent a Mini Cooper to go home for Christmas — you know, just...”
“was informed this morning by CNN about Chris Brown deleting his Twitter &...”
“loves all the people panicing and saying “Facebook will be indexing your...”
“saw the hottest woman ever yesterday. Her voluptuous breasts sat perfectly right...”
“read on cnn.com that Sarah Palin thinks Obama should “act more like his...”
“is THRILLED that Tear-Bow didn’t win the Heisman this year.”
“So someone recently asked me if they could milk my prostate and I have no idea...”
“Enough with the group invites… I get it.. You’re a...”
“doesn’t want to rape ya, he’s here for the paper.”
“is inglourious, basterds.”
“says Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you...”
“My own friends are wishing you a happy birthday through me, stupid fucking more...”
“Note to Self: if an email to your boss is just sitting in your outbox,...”
“Fellas, married life is a jungle. Be the lion, not the Tiger.”- copyright...”
“i.hate.studying.when.facebook.exists. facebook, you’re ruining my college...”
“thinks she lost a couple brain cells watching the jersey shore.”
“Oh exam week, how you craze the students. If they’re not on adderrol then...”
“Everything is imagined. Sometimes the thing being reflected is more present than...”
“ATTN FB: Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. That is all”
“Omg please please please don’t let me get the tranny / bad looking drag...”
“he ate my heart and then he ate my brain. and then he had a lunchable.”
“ATTENTION ALL BLACK PEOPLE: It is pronounced “ASSSSSSSSSSK” NOT...”
“puts the “sex” back into convicted sex criminal.”
“wishes we could take all the warning labels off of everything and just let the...”
“best quote of the night “Bill touched my vagina!” - Unknown girl at...”
“it’s two weeks to the end of the semester, we got a full tank of gas, half...”
“i was showing husband pics from last night & i’m gushing about how...”
“just came up with a new theory: unemployment is a conspiracy by the print media....”
“White Castle at 4am?? worst decision of 2009”
“if Helen Keller fell down in the woods, would she make a sound?”
“In order to get grease out of a hose, Spongebob sucked on it and said, “I...”
“is wondering what happened to balloon boy?”
November 2009
28 posts
“50 Cent hit up Tiger Woods’ wife after the incident and holla’d...”
“hates traffic… the band and the phenomenon.”
“Wii Console - $199, games and accessories - $200, having your 6 year old kick...”
“has anyone ever noticed that SR256 traffic really seems to pick up at 2am? I...”